


Better If You Go

by Stuckinmyhead



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Harry and Louis are roommates, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Louis has OCD, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Niall and Harry talk on the phone, Romance, Roommates, Sad Niall, side Ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:12:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2103924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stuckinmyhead/pseuds/Stuckinmyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is anything but the ideal roommate, he knows that and it doesn't take long for Harry to realize it too but this doesn't stop the growing connection between the two. Will Harry be Louis' best obsession yet? Or his worst?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ~Prologue~

“Where you going?” Niall asked as the warm beer sloshed over the side of his red solo cup which was bending at the tight grip of his hands. “I don’t know, out of here I guess” we had been here for a little over an hour and it was closing to midnight, the loud music blaring and the screams of drunken teenagers were colliding together to make a nonsensical mesh of white noise.

  
I think I’d rather be out than at home on a Saturday night, but then again I’d rather be anywhere but here. I feel bad leaving Niall behind considering I was supposed to be his wingman tonight but I don’t think he really needed me to stick with him as finding a drunk girl to sleep with wasn’t too hard for him, I mean there were girls practically lined up, not that I blame him I mean I’d probably be getting attention like that too if I were the guy who scored the winning goal at the school’s last game of the year. To hell with it, he’ll be busy all night anyways, I don’t think he’ll really miss me too much when I’m gone.

  
“Aw common, it’s not that bad” Niall’s words slurred together in one messy state of drunkenness. Sounding more like ‘ahhh coh o maaan, ith nah that baddd’, although I could pretty much make out what he was saying to me I try to pretend like I don’t understand his drunken accent. I make my way through the hot sweaty bodies that made up the big house without much ease, I end up bumping into every other person on the way out. Spilling a couple, okay most of, people’s drinks in the process “shit, sorry” I mumble as I pass by everyone who crowds the huge living room. This house was massive and always had a party going on, I think it was Zayn’s place, he was a senior on the football team, he had called this some sort of victory party when in reality he had parties like this almost every weekend.

  
Not that his parents give a shit, I’m pretty sure they only live their part time, not that that’s any of my business, Zayn and I aren’t exactly what you’d call friends. Well we aren’t even acquaintances really, I doubt he would bother to remember my name. No one in that jock group ever really bothers to remember my name. Niall’s an exception though we’ve been friends since we were eight.

  
Anyways, I not so gracefully try to leave the party, key word try. I have some petite blonde girl stop me as I finally approach the door but at this point I’m too sick of this party to even attempt to be polite. I completely stop her mid sentence and finally walk out of the house. I wander my way down the steps of the backyard porch and take my time to get to the front of the house where a group of stoners were lighting up.

  
“Hey Harry, going so soon” one of the girls from the group shouted to my back as I walked down the sidewalk. I never really paid much mind to any of them, I mean of few of them were in my art class, when they actually showed up, and some of them were even decent people but I didn’t really want to waste my time explaining my reason for leaving a party to people who won’t even remember let alone care.

  
So I slowly walk down the road, one foot after another I try to balance myself of the center line between the two sides of the road. I knew no cars would be coming from behind me, barely anyone takes this road especially after midnight. I focus myself on my feet, trying not to miss a step, keeping my feet on the line, this reminded me of when I was a kid and my sister and I would always play this game it was as if the ground was molten lava and if we stepped off the pillows we would fall to our deaths.

  
I was almost so focused on my own feet hitting the line that I almost didn't notice the body that lied perfectly in the middle of the two sides of the road only a couple feet in front of me. I knew for a fact he wasn't dead, his eyes were wide open and he was twiddling his thumbs but it made me wonder why in the hell he was so casually laying on the empty road.

  
“Hello?” I asked cautiously as I walked closer to him, he looked right up at me but he didn’t say anything at first, it seemed like he waited for a life time before breaking eye contact and opening his lips. “Hi” he spoke awkwardly as he twiddled his thumbs in a perfect rhythm.

  
“Are you okay?” I asked but all I could think was is he crazy? “I’m fine” he casually replied to me, his face remained of a perfect blank slate but he picked up the pace of his thumbs. “Right, then why are you lying in the middle of the road?” I asked him apprehensively as I kneeled down to his level.

  
The guy took a deep breath. I looked at his face he looked like he was only looked a year or so older than I was, probably seventeen. “I’m going to kill myself” the neutral tone in his voice was almost scary as he spoke to me, his pale eyes adverted from mine as I tried to get a better look at him. I know he didn’t sound scared in the least bit, but when I looked at his face he looked wide eyed and terrified.

  
“Oh” was all I could manage to spit out among all the confusion in my mind; I hadn’t expected such a blunt response from him. I honestly wasn’t too sure what I should do, I mean I’m not any good at making people feel better and my advice is always shit.

  
So instead of trying to get him up I planted myself down and laid myself down beside the mystery guy. I tilted my head to look at him and he had an uncomfortable look swept across his face. His mouth twitched downwards from his straight set lips and his breath quickened.

  
He quickly moved away from me as fast as humanly possible onto the left side of the line, “I’m sorry” I whispered out, I almost felt hurt that he had moved away from me but after all I was just some stranger. “No, I’m sorry, it’s just how could I be on the center if you are on the right. That’s so wrong, how could I think that I’m important enough to be a disruption of perfect order” he shuddered in disgust as he positioned himself perfectly on the left side of the line.

  
“You don’t want to kill yourself” I stated obviously to him, his small eyebrows furrowed as he digested my words “how would you know that” he let out a bitter laugh as he relaxed on the warm pavement. It was hot for June, I was uncomfortably sticky in my leather jacket, I knew it was way too hot to be wearing it but for some reason I didn’t care, I like the way it looked on a summer night.

  
“Because, nobody ever comes down this street, everyone knows that” I let out a big grunt as I started to remove myself from the concrete. I stuck my hand out in front of the smaller boy offering it to him but he ignored it and got up on his own.

  
“You know, I was really going to do it, if a car had come I mean” we started to walk down the quiet road together. I chose to ignore his comment and walk silently beside him. I started to make my way to my house when I realized the boy may not be heading that way too. “So where do you live? I’ll walk you home” I look down at my shoes again as I walk atop the black line of tar.

  
“I actually live a couple houses down from you” the brown haired boy let out an awkward half laugh and moved a bit closer to my side. “Oh... I’ve never really seen you around. You don’t go to my school do you? Because then I’d feel really dumb” I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly and slowed down my pace.

  
“No, I’m actually home schooled… Don’t worry I would expect you to ever notice me Harry” my name rolled off his lips as he said it. I wonder how he knew my name, but then again if he lived near me I’m sure he’d have to have heard it somewhere. I mean Niall and I always seemed to be getting into some sort of trouble with our neighbors. Like the one time Niall and I took chalk and decorated my neighbor’s driveway in satanic symbols.

  
As we got closer to our houses we gradually parted ways each to our own doorsteps, “I know I don’t know you, I don’t even know your name but please don’t kill yourself” I called to him from a little ways down the street. “It’s Louis” was all he said to me before he opened his front door and disappeared.


	2. The Harry Subject

Two years later  
Louis POV

“At this point I don’t even know why they keep trying to put me with another roommate, I’ve had five over the last year and a half already” I argue to Liam. “I know Louis, but they can’t just give you a room to yourself” I can tell Liam is trying to be a good friend, but nothing about this situation is good.

  
My last roommate Jeff left just over three weeks ago and the dorm office has already assigned me a new roommate, some freshman guy. And if things couldn’t get worse, I’m not even sure when he’ll be here, the new semester starts in a week so he should be moving in any day now.

  
“Look Louis, I know this hard but who knows, maybe the kid will be okay with you” false optimism laced Liam’s voice as he tried his hardest to cheer me up. “Liam, not even you would live with me, how can I expect some guy who doesn’t even know me to be so accepting of my craziness” I sounded harder than I wanted to, Liam looked down at his feet awkwardly bypassing my gaze. “You’re not crazy Louis, I just wouldn’t want us rooming to affect our friendship, besides you know how hard it is to switch rooms” Liam mumbled as he looked down at the perfect white carpet under his sock clad feet.

“It’s okay Liam, I know I’m crazy, my things always have to be in perfect placed in a perfect order and precision, I have to make everything I do in a perfect rhythm, I have to repeat stupid things over in my head day in and day out, I have to sleep with the lights on every night and I can’t touch people’s hands without wanting to burn my skin off after. If that’s not crazy I really don’t know what is. And as far as switching rooms goes, yeah, I do know how hard it is. I would know a lot about that.” I sit down on the middle of my bed as I twiddle my thumbs in a perfect rhythm, it’s one of the only things that can calm me down and let my mind take a break.

  
“Louis, it’s going to be okay. I have to go now, I have practice to get to. I’ll see you later though” the door shut tightly as he left the room. His optimism was almost amusing; though I knew for a fact nothing was going to be okay.

  
Nothing was fun about my OCD. Not having to wash my hands twenty times a day to the point where dried cracks and broken red lines trace the grain of my skin, not having to have the lights on when I sleep, not having to constantly have routine and order, my mind creates chaos for myself in trying to create order.

  
I don’t like to talk about it much, not with Liam, not with my mom, especially not with the therapist I had before I left for university. I liked order in my life but what I don’t like is being obsessed to the point where if I can’t do something or say something hell, even think something fast enough I can’t breathe.

  
None of my past roommates ever understood that part, I don’t like having this disorder. I don’t like craving the unattainable perfections out of life. Hell I know it’s impossible and that’s what really drives me crazy, no matter how many times I say or do something I know I’ll have to do it again and again.

  
\---

  
Everyone leaves me, all my friends left me as I got worse, my roommates left me, my life has never been sure stable. Each person had their own reasons, my last roommate couldn’t stand the fact that I had to sleep with the light on. I don’t blame him, if sleeping with it off drove me mad I could only imagine what having to sleep with it on did to him. Some left me for simple ignorance; you see sometimes the words ‘mental illness’ don’t really agree with some people.

  
Whatever it would be the only person I have been able to count on is Liam, right since the start of uni he has reached out to me to become my friend, he had a sort of goodness in him that was hard to come across in people. And as accepting as he is I still wait for the moment he chooses to leave me too, it’s like I have the ongoing pressure of a ticking time bomb in my mind. Sometimes I wish I could just stay by my lonesome, as much as I love having someone to distract me from myself, it kills me not to have full control over everything, something Liam tries to help me with.

  
I could feel my thoughts start to drift to insanity when I heard two slow uneven knocks at the door, for some reason it bothered me that whoever it was knocked two times instead of three and it bothered me even more that I let that bother me. I got a massive chill down my spine at my discomfort but I sawed after the pending door and opened it cautiously, it wasn’t too often people came to my door and I had a feeling I knew who it would be.

  
A goofy looking boy stood in front of my door, messy chocolate brown curls toppled over his head and onto his face, I wanted so badly to move the hair from in front of his eyes. “Hey” the boy shook his shaggy mop and his green eyes pierced mine, a sudden flash of recognition hit me like a tidal wave. “It’s you” I said with my mouth agape, still blocking the door way with my body. The boy tilted his head slightly to the right and his eyes looked to the side, looking back into his memories. Did he even remember me? I sure as hell remembered him. “Oh, Louis right?” he said enthusiastically, giving me a big crook smile. So he remembered my name and most likely that I lived down the street from him but I can’t help but wonder if he remembers that night. Oh lord, I remember it all too well, never has a distant memory ever stuck so close to the front of my mine, I remember it every day.

  
“So uh, do you mind maybe moving out of the way so I can get in?” the words dripped cautiously slow from his mouth, I stood confused for a moment until it hit me, Harry was going to be my new roommate. “Oh right sure” I said far too quickly as I jumped out of his way and I moved over to my bed. I watched Harry carefully as he entered my room, or I guess our room and I made sure everything remained in order, just how I needed it.

  
“It’s uh, really um, clean in here Louis” Harry pointed out in an awkward sort of half complement, half observation. “I know” I said simply, of course it was clean, I can’t even imagine what it would be like if it were like Liam’s room. I think I went there once, but Liam got kind of mad when I started to move his things around, and he definitely didn’t appreciate me putting his text books on his book shelf, he claimed that they went missing. After that we decided if we were going to hang out it would be best if we did so in my dorm room.

  
“Right so uh, you don’t mind if I make a bit of a mess do you? unpacking isn’t really the easiest mess to maintain” the tension between us was so painfully clear, I don’t know if it’s the fact that he wants to make a mess of my room or maybe because we both know each other a little better than either of us expected to, either way things were getting awkward quickly and I still refused to answer his question.

  
“Well, actually…” I started to explain myself as I heard another knock at the door, undoubtedly Liam. “I’ll get that” I snap as Harry as I rush to the door only to be greeted by Liam’s cheerful face, it kind of made me want to smack him. “Hey Louis… who’s this?” he tacked onto the end of his sentence as his peered his head into the room and got a good look at Harry unpacking his suit case. “My roommate” I said with a bitter taste in my mouth, I looked back at Harry to see what he was doing.

  
He was practically waist deep in a different assortment of clothes all completely wrinkled from not being folded properly. I could feel my eye start to twitch and I had the sudden urge to kick something and an even bigger urge to sort of Harry’s clothing for him. But what kind of control freak would I look like if I forced him to let me do his unpacking the right way, or should I say, my way.

  
I think Liam could tell I was about to hit a nerve because he quickly jumped in “Louis don’t you think maybe we should go get a few coffee’s while Harry unpacks, maybe he can give us a ring when he’s done and we can bring him back something” a smile formed on Liam’s face and a shiver crawled its way across my body at the thought of leaving my room. But then again it was better than having to painfully watch my room turn into the aftermath of a tornado. “Okay” I said reluctantly and Harry gave us both a wide childish smile, “sounds good” he offered up as Liam and I were about to leave “wait, Louis I need you number… so I can text you when I’m done” he added quickly as his face got a bit red, god maybe he’s the weird one here. “Right”, Harry stuck out his phone to me to punch my number in but I flinched back from it and shook my head. Instead of having to touch his phone, I routinely called out the numbers in a perfect rhythm, Harry seemed satisfied enough and Liam and I left the room without further interruption from Harry.

 

  
-  
“So…” Liam started off awkwardly as I wiped the table and chair down before I took a seat with my coffee in a to-go cup. “What?” I said with a bit of attitude in my tone, shouldn’t Liam be used to my particular ways by now? “No, that not what I mean” he says to me as if he understood what I meant by the look on my face. “I meant Harry, what do you think of him?” I thought about this for a moment, I wasn’t really sure what kind of opinion I had on Harry yet, I mean there was that time we met two years ago but I never really saw him after that. I stayed at home like usual and he went out and lived his life like always, I wondered if he ever thought about me. I wondered if he was surprised to see me alive, I mean I did move out two years ago, for all he knows I could have picked the right road to lay on.

  
“He’s alright I guess” I huffed out, Liam didn’t seem to accept that answer, “I don’t know man, you seemed pretty mad about the mess, I mean if I were you…” his statement stopped before it could begin, he knew how I hated when he would say that, I mean how would he know exactly, that’s right he doesn’t know what it’s like. I try not to let what he said bother me too much but it picked at a nerve in the back of my mind.

  
“Anyways, I think he was blushing after he asked for your number” Liam chuckled. “Right” I said as if that was the most absurd thing in the world. “No, I’m serious, his face got rather red” oh here we go again, Liam going and trying to prove a point, an invalid one at that. Besides Harry is the last person on this planet that I would pin point as gay, I mean come on, he wears ripped jeans and beanies, I think I may have even seen a couple of tattoos on him. “Whatever, he was probably just stressed about the unpacking, I mean god that was a pretty big mess” ugh just thinking about it made my skin crawl with disgust, I felt so on edge about leaving Harry alone in my room by himself, I mean god knows what kind of mess he could be making. Just the mere thought of it put a huge amount of stress on me, I was starting to feel suffocated.

  
“Louis, you’re doing it again” Liam groaned out loudly as he shot me a harsh look, I was confused for a moment before I looked down at my thumbs which were twiddling like mad, something I tend to do when I get anxious. “Oh right, shit sorry” I say but my thumbs proceed to twiddle and Liam rolls his eyes dramatically, I know he was only trying to help but sometimes it annoys me when he point those things out.

  
“So, do you think he’s gay?” he shoves the topic back into my face, “I don’t know Liam, I’m pretty sure he isn’t I mean he doesn’t really look gay?” I try to kill the conversation off, I don’t really like talking about people behind their backs. “Would that bother you if your new roommate was gay?” Liam urges the conversation on once more, not getting the hint that I want to drop the Harry subject. “I don’t know Liam, I mean I guess it would be weird having someone who likes guys living with you but I mean I’m kind of a freak myself so who am I to judge” and with that I think Liam was smart enough to drop the conversation, at least for now.

  
Liam and I sat down for another twenty minutes or so, just talking about our classes that were taking for the new semester and Liam was telling me how he’s thinking about getting a dog, then I was telling him how a dog is nothing but a living breathing mess and Liam getting mad because he quote unquote “needs a dog to live” of course he was being a bit dramatic. By the time we got to talking about Liam’s annoying roommate Zayn smoking pot in their dorm room again we had gotten a call from Harry telling us that he was done unpacking.

  
I was worried about the mess that he had left me to clean up and I was starting to get stressed out about it as I sat at the table finishing off my coffee. Liam quickly got a drink for Harry like he promised and we made our way back to the pending disaster that was my room.


End file.
